Confessions of a Valentine's Day hater

I'm one of the few, the shameless proud, that actually despises Valentine's Day. Now don't get me wrong the concept of love and its endearing quality is fine with me, it's what the alleged holiday does and how it makes others act toward someone is what irritates me to no end.

But first I need to go back to the time when it started to become a dreaded 'holiday'. I put the quotes on holiday because it is basically a Hallmark holiday, designed to promote capitalism and rotten teeth (candy), but I digress. Back in the 1970s schools weren't as politically correct, therefore, the teachers didn't lecture us on end about accepting everyone, don't bully people, zero tolerance blah blah blah. No, back then if you weren't liked, if you weren't popular, then tough shit. Nobody was there to cheer you on, to be in your corner, to be by your side and show the world that you were made of the same stuff as everyone else. When Valentine's Day came around in elementary school, I would spend hours designing a Valentine's Day box to hold my bounty. We had to decorate our own card holders. Usually mine was the biggest and shiniest. I was proud of my Valentine's Day holder. Only problem is, getting back to the un-PC times of the 70s, teachers didn't care WHO you gave Valentine's to. They didn't make the kids give cards to everyone, you gave Valentine's Day cards to those you liked. This was the rub for unpopular and picked on kids like me. I received very few, if any, Valentine's Day cards. It seems I would get barely a handful, maybe 6 out of a class of 20. Yeah, not good. All the girls would giggle over the cards the boys gave them, and I wouldn't get any from the boys, or if I did, they were the boys nobody liked. Even with my unpopularity, I still stayed away from the other unpopular kids like they were the plague. I, too was guilty of giving cards to only those I liked, and that wasn't many either.

I was a loner, and lonely, and every Valentine's Day reminded me just how lonely I was, and how many kids really disliked me for whatever reason....I wasn't pretty enough, I wasn't cool enough, my hair was weird, or I looked weird or funny or whatever. Stupid, petty, obnoxious reasons to not like someone. But that's how kids are, naturally shallow. Except these days we try to fix it by being the PC police and making kids get cards for everyone. I guess that is fair, but it has no meaning other than "here I bought cards and your name was on the list." It makes no sense to give a Valentine's card to someone just because you had to. But at the same time, it keeps lonely and unpopular kids from feeling bad. It's a catch-22. The day is for the people you love, not universal love, as I sure as Hell don't love everyone, heck I don't like many people at all, much less love them. I love my kids and my husband and immediate family. Don't really give a flying fuck about anyone else after that. Ok maybe certain members of the Twilight cast, but that's just fantasy. I do care about other people, but it's hard work when the feeling isn't reciprocated.

The demons of my Valentine's Day pasts did not make me this way, I just became this way after years of watching lovestruck losers on TV Hallmark ads and blah blah blah, love love love. It is a forced holiday. And it's annoying. The hearts, the candy, the flowers and pink. Ew. I hate pink! Hate it hate it hate it. I like the singer Pink, but I hate the color pink. Anyway I'm getting off tangent here. I really despise Valentine's Day because it made me feel worthless growing up. And when you have nobody to turn to (deceased mother, abusive father) you feel empty. So it comes as no surprise the first guy who was nice to me I ended up on my back faster than Bella on ice. C'est la vie.

Adults today are no less Un-PC than the days back in elementary. One co-worker meticulously set kid's themed Valentine cards on the desks of the people she chose, and of course myself and another person were left off that list, so it really hasn't changed much in 30 years. People are still shallow, still self absorbed, still forcing us to 'care' when it comes down to a stupid card on a desk. I care about my husband, and my kids, and a very few select friends, but I don't let them know it just on one day, but every day, of every month, of every year. I don't need commercials for candy and flowers and jewelry to let the ones closest to me know how I feel. They already know. I don't ask for candy or flowers, because they are worthless things that mean nothing. I think I'm doing alright for not demanding flowers or candy or jewelry because I have been married 22 years and have a loving husband and five of the best kids on earth. Yeah call it a slight superiority complex, but that's just because I left behind that lonely kid a long time ago. I am a confident, professional, well educated and well adjusted adult who overcame a lot of things because I never allowed myself to be someone else, even for one day where we 'pretend' to love everyone. It's bogus, fake and conceited. Three qualities I do not possess, but despise these qualities in others. I guess it's a good thing I'm aloof to such fake holidays, because I have risen above the rest and left the pettiness behind.

Happy Fucking Valentine's Day